


You Deserve To Be Happy

by LordTraco



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Angst, Damn good support systems, Depression, Fluff, Gen, Max calls David "dad", Self-harm urges, dadvid, lots of hugs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-11 01:11:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12311697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordTraco/pseuds/LordTraco
Summary: David starts the morning... quite badly. He knows how to handle this, has plans and support in place but there's one new factor to worry about now: his son.





	1. A Bad Morning

**Author's Note:**

> Just fair warning, the characters watch the new Wonder Woman movie about halfway through this chapter, and they might spoil a little fact about the ending. 
> 
> Also I may continue this with more drabbles of calm Dadvid moments in the future.

David continued pacing the bathroom nervously, watching his phone intently. He couldn’t wake her up over this, but she should be up in five minutes. That was fine, he could be fine until then. Pulling out hair from his scalp was fine, that’s just what stressed people do, right? Just stressed. No need to worry just yet… let her sleep just… just four more minutes. This hadn't happened in over a year, surely it couldn't be that bad...

 

He put the phone down on the toilet, looking in the mirror for a moment. When the bad thoughts started, he stared down the drain and gripped the sides of the sink with determination. Just keep his hands busy and occupied… and time would pass faster if he wasn’t looking at his phone… God the sink was dirty, what kind of father left the sink so-

 

“No, nope.” He mumbled, turning back to the phone. 7:58… ok two more minutes. Maybe three just to play it casual. What if she wanted to sleep in, though? Surely he could wait until 8:30? He caught himself itching his arm and grumbled. He couldn’t. 

 

The next two minutes were agonizing. Everything felt… not itchy in a physical sense, but… in need of scratching. In need of pulling.

 

He felt bad about it, but he knew he needed someone to ground him. To tell him it was alright. To take over for his own lagging determination just for a minute so he could catch his breath. Which he was holding now. “Fuck” he breathed out, hating how every part of his body needed to be watched like bratty children. Like… like his campers and son… like Max… oh fuck how was he going to face Max like this? He was already to the point of swearing aloud…

 

Finally, FINALLY it was 8:00! David pressed the button the second the time changed on his phone, having had Gwen’s contact info open this past 30 agonizing minutes. 

 

“David?” came a groggy voice from the other end of the phone. David immediately felt the guilt rushing in.

 

“Gwen…” David said, cringing at the pitiful nature of his voice right now.

 

“Dammit David, how long? Both hands on the phone and how long?” 

 

“On-only like 30 minutes. I didn’t want to wake you I can call someone els-”

 

“Bullshit. What have I told you since day one?”

 

“To wake you up at any time because otherwise your psych dual major was fucking useless.”

 

“Already to swearing? Shit. Have you eaten?”

 

“No, I’m not really hungry.” He said, looking down. He was lying and it hurt.

 

“ **David** .”

 

“Max might be in there, Gwen! I can’t… I-I brought him to a home to be safe and I’m…”

 

“David, both hands on phone. You’re doing great so far. Now I’m going to get dressed, put you on speaker phone, and you’re going to tell me every single color you can see in the room. I bet you can’t name fifteen!” She said, appealing to the competitive side of him. 

 

“You’re on!” Hook, line, meet sinker.

 

The game went on for a short while, with David refusing to concede that off-white didn’t count as a color. 

 

“Gwen… I can’t thank you enough… I’m sorry to have woken you still but I really really appreciate being able to count on you.”

 

“What else are CBFLs for? You would have contacted Sherry if I didn’t pick up, right?”

 

“And then Joseph and then Armani and then Douglas. And then the hotline.” David said, tension lessening from his shoulders. It felt like such a weakness to have to depend on others like this… but right now it sounded like a plan, it sounded like something to be proud of because he had this under control to the best of his abilities. It sounded like that because it was something Gwen would be proud of…

 

“I’m proud of-”

 

David cursed from the other end, looking at that damn terrible sink… his own doubts redoubling their hold on him. “Gwen what do I do about Max though? I can’t hide from him but what if he says something mean, Gwen I can’t… What kind of father would I be if-”

 

“The kind of father he has. A brave one. Let me talk to the rascal.”

 

“What? But he’s surely in bed still!” 

 

“Damnit David I’m on the other end of the country and even I know he’s right outside the door listening in on this!” Gwen said, half holding back a laugh. A barely noticeable shift from the doorway proved her right. 

 

David froze, but Gwen continued. “Now, hand the phone through the door and then sit on your hands, alright? Think of five sounds you can hear in the room while I’m gone.” 

 

“Alright…” He said, opening the door a crack and holding the phone out. “Gwen wants to talk to you, Max.” David was still a little surprised when a small set of hands snatched the phone from his own in a flash. Then all that was left was to sit on his hands. He’d figure out SEVEN sounds he can hear!

  
  
  
  


“Max, I need you to listen to me, alright? David’s going to be fine and so are you.”

 

“Gwen he’s swearing and muttering… is he angry with me?”

 

“Oh! Oh nono no, Max no. I promise this is nothing to do with you-”

 

“Motherfucking bullshit, Gwen! I brought back my failing grade in math the other day! I disappointed him and now he’s trying to hide how mad and disappointed he is!” 

 

“Max, listen… That might have played a role in it, but right now he’s dealing with feeling… inadequate. This happens from time to time and sometimes he needs a little help getting through it. But this is important.  **You** are under absolutely no obligation to help him. You put yourself first, okay?”

 

“WHAT? Gwen if he’s trying to off himself I can’t be focusing on ME!” 

 

“Max, trust David. He knows how to handle himself which is why he called me. He has a plan for these times. But he’s scared how this will affect you, so whatever you need to do, whether it’s staying away from him for the day or not, you  **do** that. If you are around him, I want you to send all your swears or complaints to me, because honestly that’d make my day.”

 

“You always hated my sass at camp.”

 

“Yeah when I was forced to hear it nonstop. Now I almost miss it.”

 

“I don’t want to leave him lonely… It’s Saturday, Gwen! Our stay in movie and video game day!” Saturday used to be the day of going out to parks or other fun activities… but after talking it out, David had conceded to having Saturday be a stay-at-home day to recharge, while Sunday could be their time to wander while most of the small town went to church. 

 

It felt like such a stab in the back to leave the extrovert alone on the day he had no other activities to distract him...

 

“Max, the only thing I’m telling you is to know your limits. David loves you and might just need a day to focus on feeling better. Now I’m here for you and David, so contact me as much as you need, alright?”

 

“Wow, Gwen, really gettin mileage outta that psychology degree, huh?” He said snidely, softly mumbling a quick “thank you” after.

 

“Anytime, kiddo.” Gwen said, beaming on the other end of the phone. Sure this was draining, but hearing a thank you from Max made it all triply worth it. Though the continued silence unnerved her a little. Was he handing the phone back?

 

“...Gwen?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I’m scared.”

 

“That’s ok, this is going to be a little new. But just think of all the blackmail you have on your dad now!”

 

“I  _ don’t _ want to think about him as my  _ dad _ who is  _ swearing _ right now, Gwen… scary combo...” The vulnerability of his tone was far too telling. 

 

“Right, sorry.”

 

“Are you sure this isn’t… this isn’t… my fault?” the last two words held such terror and guilt it reminded Gwen once again how young Max really was...

 

“Look kid, if you had the super power to give people depression, you’d be using it for far more evil purposes than this. But you don’t so... nope.”

 

Max sniffled lightly, pleased with the sassy confidence she had. Other people always tried to reassure him with pretty lies, but not her. “Thank you, Gwen.”

 

“Anytime. Now before you start looking up boobs on his phone, I suggest you give it back.”

 

“Giving me ideas~” Max said with a chuckle, handing the phone through the door. For a second he was quiet after the phone was taken, then he made the first move. “Dad, I’m going to make eggs. How many you want?”

 

“Two please.” Came a quiet but thankful voice. It sounded weak, but also nowhere near as frightening and angry as the words he’d heard muttered from the bathroom this whole time. Max was both relieved and disgusted to realize David was grumbling and swearing at himself…

 

“Love you, dad.” Max said quickly, rushing off to the kitchen. David took the bait, rushing out of the bathroom as he always did for Max’s daily ‘love you’, which basically translated to ‘you have two seconds to hug me, catch me if you can.’

 

The familiarity of the chase and eventual ensnaring hug broke Max out of his lingering fears. David’s smile was genuine even if his eyes were tired. “I love you too, Max!” 

 

Cue the gentle nuzzling into Max’s ticklish tummy and Max’s feigned thrashing attempts to get away. Seriously, it never stopped being adorable even after the 200th time. Maybe it got annoying on days he was almost made late to school, but never any less adorable. 

 

The day went on about as usual, but Max noticed the occasional frowns, the very deliberate movements David made with his hands, and the all around… un-david-like lack of spunk. Whenever he caught his eye, however, David forced a smile to replace the frown. 

 

“Dad!” Max groaned the fourth time David did this since the eggs finished. “You don’t have to pretend. I get you’re not yourself today, chill. I won’t think you hate me if I happen to see you frown.”

 

“You know I could never hate you.” He said, rubbing his arm. David blinked at the unconscious movement, thankful it hadn’t been scratches this time, but once again forcing his hands to behave again.

 

Max pulled out his phone, and for once David didn’t say anything about no electronics at the dinner table. 

 

Text: Hey Gwen, what’s something that’ll keep David’s hands busy?

Text: IN A PRODUCTIVE WAY NOT A BAD WAY HE’S MY DAD EW PHRASING FUCK

 

Text: OMFG Max phrasing. Also try his knitting kit.

 

“Hey, you want your knitting stuff while we watch that movie you promised we’d watch?”

 

“Knitting? Oh that’s a great idea!! I can make you that scarf before winter comes!”

 

“It’s almost May.”

 

“I am not fast at knitting, Max.”

 

Max just looked to his eggs and bit down the slightly mean retort he was thinking of. 

 

…

 

By the end of the movie, both of them were teary eyed. Or, Max was teary eyed while David was bawling into his yarn over “POOR STEVE!!” 

 

“I can’t believe he did that?? And what a shitty thing she couldn’t even hear him?” Max said, holding his hands out in frustration at the movie. 

 

“He was from the past he didn’t need to have died! Peggy didn’t have to die on Captain America!!”

 

“Fuck DC, man.”

 

“Yeah, fuck ‘em.” David said, blinking at the swear and looking horrified. 

 

“Ok seriously, dude you can swear.” Max said, laughing a little at the overreaction. “Just not in anger at me, is all.”

 

“I refuse to make it a habit, Max, and I find catharsis in your swearing just as much as mine.”

 

“You find what now?”

 

“Catharsis? Solace? Uh… peace and tranquility.”

 

“You find. Peace and tranquility. When I swear.” Max asked, dumbfounded.

 

“Well of course. Usually you pick up on what bothers me and swear about it. And I feel better because those swears mean you care.”

 

“And when I swear  _ at _ you?”

 

“Those hurt but I know you don’t mean it.” He said, looking down. He even paused his knitting, Max noted, something he hadn't even done for the tense part of the movie.

 

Max mirrored the movement. He knew it hurt David, of course it hurt to be sworn at. But… he’d never mentioned it. His dad always seemed so fantastically immune to everything life threw at him, including a sweary camper-turned-child.

 

“Dad I'm… I'm sorry.”

 

“Don-”

 

Max swivelled around, pointing at him a little angry. “Don't fucking tell me not to be. I shouldn't… fuck I just did it…” Max said, covering his face in his hands.

 

The tremor that ran through David had the knitting needles clicking slightly. He didn't respond in favor of just taking deep breaths and working on not taking that tiny outburst to heart.

 

“Dad I didn't-”

 

“Shh one... Sec.” David breathed out, putting a hand to Max’s shoulder as he fought to calm himself just that last little bit. Max hugged his arm gently, which helped.

 

After a couple more deep breaths, David finally turned to his son to ruffle his hair a tad. “You were saying?”

 

“I… I'm sorry. For swearing at you, for not getting help in math, for all the shit I bring to your life. And… thank you for… for thinking I'm worth it all.” Max said, hiding his face in David’s arm.

 

The knitting clattered to the floor and in one swift movement David’s arm was yanked away, only to be replaced by a real embrace. “Thank you for being my son. Thank you for letting me be a dad, I know I’m not great but I'm trying.”

Max couldn't keep back tears at that, holding him tightly as the sniffles took control. How fucked up was it that this camp counselor was the one who tried. The one who cared. Even Gwen cared, but she was that far away aunt figure… he had a dad who cared. Who cared enough to try, enough to worry about him in his own darkest times… 

It was so easy for Max to imagine his birth parents going through bad times… facing similar stresses that David was facing… but they took it out on him or tossed him aside or cast him away to a summer camp. To imagine that it didn't… have to be that way? That an adult could bear the weight of the world and still care for a child… maybe not everyone could do it… but the fact his dad would meant the world to him.

His dad meant the world to him.

Hopefully the snot and tears getting all over David’s shirt adequately communicated this fact.

 

It didn't, but David knew anyways. 

 

He knew because even on a bad morning he could count on a "love you, dad". And even after a sad ending he could count on a hug. 


	2. Waking Up Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max is gently awoken by music that speaks to how loved and cherished he is in this home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shinedown's cover of Simple Man is my brother's favorite song, and I couldn't help but think how fitting it would be for David to play it to Max.   
> I gotta admit this was also inspired a bit by Six String Hero by colorsandplaid. It's great please read it and give them all the comments and kudos in the world!
> 
> I also just really love the idea that this super duper cinnamon roll knows and loves harsh metal and rock bands. And adores seeing people's reactions to finding this out. Like me!
> 
> Also the second song David plays is Shinedown's Diamond Eyes.

The sound of gentle and deep guitar notes awoke Max to the beautiful smell of warm apples and cinnamon. The candle David had let him pick out from their last shopping spree. Everything about the senses felt warm, even if kicking off the covers was anything but. 

 

Max threw on a warm hoodie, smiling at the sweet melody almost lulling him back to sleep with its embrace-like quality. It was home in a way the quiet halls of his other childhood had never been. The gentle humming was a little easier to focus on now as actual words. 

 

“Oh take your time~   
Don’t live too fast~   
Troubles will come~ and they will pass~”

 

Max wasn’t sure he knew the song, but its melody was nice. He didn’t want to go out and possibly disrupt the singing just yet. For all his love of the camping song, David always seemed shy to sing anything else… especially something this deep in tone and meaning.

 

“Be a simple~ kind of man~~~” David sang, coughing at the end of the long, sustained note, but catching himself. The guitar didn’t even falter a second.

 

“Be something you love and understand~

Ooh be a simple kind of man~~

Won’t you do this~

For me son~

If you can~~” 

 

Max blinked at the lyrics. It was a song to a son. A song… to him. He could almost feel the moment confidence took over David because suddenly the slight mumblings became words sang with the same exuberance he usually had for everything.

 

“All that I want from you my sooon~

Is to beeee satisfiiiiiiied~~~~~~” David belted out, his voice smoothly transitioning through the long notes and back into the steady rhythm as the song went on, but Max couldn’t wait any longer.

 

With a push of the door, Max announced his presence and awake state to the world. Well, to his dad. But as he did so, he softly sang the chorus, encouraging David to continue after a small moment of surprise and embarrassment.

 

Max settled next to David on the couch, singing along until the lyrics got away from him. With one final set of words, his dad strummed an early ending to the song as he leaned a little on Max’s side. He was sure if his dad wasn’t busy with the instrument, he’d be getting an affectionate head ruffle. 

 

“And don’t you worry~   
You’ll find yourself~   
Follow your heart~   
And nothing else~~” 

 

“Best alarm clock ever.” Max mumbled, unable to help the grin bright on his face. 

 

“I thought you’d like it, son.” David said, swelling with pride at his little gift being received well. 

 

“Where’d you hear that song? Is it old?” Max asked, still leaning on David’s arm as he motioned gently to put the guitar down. 

 

“I guess it’s quite old from your perspective. But I first heard the Shinedown cover of it so-”

 

“THAT WAS SHINEDOWN??” Max said getting to his feet on the couch, looking David in the eyes with absolute confusion. “You /know/ Shinedown? Bull, you listen to farmers almanacs, not rock.”

 

David’s eyes glinted in that way they always did before revealing something not-so-perfect about himself, as if proud to be flawed or maybe proud to have snookered someone into thinking he was perfect and pure. But instead of saying anything, he began to play again. First just some rhythmic taps against the wood of the guitar, but then when he added in the actual notes, it was unmistakable.

 

“I am the shadow. And the smoke. In your eyes.” They both said at the same time before bursting out laughing.

 

“I didn’t think you’d know old alt rock songs, Max!”

 

“Are you really surprised your broody kid knows these broody songs? How in the world do YOU know them??”

 

“I was around when they were all over the radio, Max.”

 

“You could’ve chosen other stations.”

 

“And miss headbanging along? No way.”

 

“Are you sure you’re really my dad?”

 

“One hundred percent! How else do you think I let out my frustration?”

 

“Punching your ex’s boyfriends?”

 

“That was only one… less than four times, Max.”

 

“I think you need to listen to more of these songs.” Max said cheekily, swinging his small legs off the edge of the couch. “With your son to make sure you don’t go on punching sprees.”

 

“And possibly foul your mind with swear filled songs?” David asked in mock surprise. 

 

“I think the Camp Campbell theme song made me swear more than any other song in history.”

 

David grinned, strumming the beginning chord of the theme.

 

“NO! FUCK THAT DAVID!!” Max yelled, slapping at the guitar. He usually called him Dad all the time now, but there were outbursts that still came out of habit.

 

His dad only burst out laughing, ruffling his hair. For a moment, he was back in Camp Campbell, a councillor to the rambunctious and rebellious boy beside him, wondering when he’d be slapped for this show of affection. But that time didn’t come. Max was beside him laughing too, putting up with the little noogie. The bags under his eyes were far less pronounced than back then, a true payoff to their teamwork and Max’s dedication to the schedule they’d worked out to best combat that insomnia. 

 

David caught himself beaming at Max as the kid rolled his eyes. 

 

“Is it the daily ‘I’m proud of you’ speech again?” 

 

“Maybe I’m just proud of me for raising you so well.” David said, sticking his tongue out.

 

“You should be, but admit it, you were thinking about how-”

 

“I was! I’m so proud of you! You stayed late with that teacher to go over your test and you’ve been sticking to that tough schedule and you beat my high score in that shooter game and-” David was hugging him again. 

 

Max accepted the hug and praise for a moment before pushing David off. By his reasoning, the morning “love you, dad” would lose its novelty if hugging became a twice a day thing. 

 

David produced a comb from his pocket, offering it to Max as a peace offering after all the head patting that went on. Where he got all these combs, Max had yet to find out. There was a limitless supply, because Max kept stealing them. There was fifteen in his secret drawer. 

 

Carefully putting the guitar down, David got up with a light stretch. “Well, time for breakfast. I got you some marshmallow cereal if-”

Max was gone in a whoosh, and David followed with a smile. Max hadn’t even realized he’d been tricked into waking up early (not sleeping in) on a Sunday. Score 1 for Dad.


End file.
